Eaten Alive

My soul feels like it is being eaten alive
by shiny words that have no meaning
and by hungry thirsty people
who gulp me down without a second thought
until I eventually become a corpse scratching at the dirt
and clawing my way from the others
But no matter how much I try to leave
I'm still pulled back
and swallowed down into nothingness

My light feels dim
like nothing is being illuminated
on the sidewalks when I roam
but
something calls destructive souls to me
like I'm calling children home for supper and suddenly
there's more than I can imagine
and remember giving birth to

I claw at my throat
to hold back the words I want to really say and
I feel the panic bubbling
and burning my veins
Because it's like I'm afraid to be honest
so I won't hurt someone's heart and soul
but it's tearing me apart
believing in the lies and
twisting my brain and hands into impossible knots
that I cannot even begin
to imagine attempting to untie